'You just don't understand children's music.'

'That was a million kisses. They were all put together in one big smooch.'

'I gave my baby a bindi. I gave myself one, too. I used a Hello Kitty marker. I had to use pink because I couldn't find red.'

'It's called Mighty Meaty Meal. It's a pizza for dogs.'

Let's pretend the flavors are grape, cherry and ham. (Popsicles)

'Sometimes wind goes down my esophagus and food goes down my windpipe.'

Whoa, cool music. (Crosby, Stills, Nash in TriState)

Opening birthday presents: Oh Karl, it's perfect. Wherever did you find it?

'I don't like George Bush. Abraham Lincoln is my favorite president. He freed the slaves.'

'Dad, one more thing: you really are Mr. Perfect.'