'I wouldn't want to live in a world without makeup.'

'Silkworms don't like cupcakes.'

'Ah, the sweet smell of FedEx.'

Here is my new poem:
Upon the milky vows I wait
For a fish to bite.
Almost to this very night
On the milky vows of lake Shang Wong.
Your dearest Shan Ti.

'Let's be detectives. Every detective needs a good dog that can smell a cooking goose through glass.'

'Dad, will you buy me a Benjamin Franklin Action Figure? It has a plastic kite and key.'

'If you want something to drink just go to Drinks Dot Com.'

'When I grow up I'm going to be a paleontologist with my hair died pink.'

'I don't do physics but I can see physics.'

'I love the way helicopters look but I hate the way they sound.'

'She rang me like an alarm clock.'

'Now I need to be on my smelt course. A smelt, please!'

Well, at least you neatened up the house. (On returning from four days out of town).

'I'm sitting out here looking at the stars so I can constellate.'

'I can think 12 speeds at once. I don't need food.'

'Would a boneless chicken lay an egg without a shell?'

'Maybe next Halloween I'll dress as Sacajawea. If there is a horse for sale we can buy it.'

'Nellie, come have some foie gras.'

'An apostrophe of flying straw.'

'They made a mistake in this book. They say this is Blackbeard the Pirate but it should be Redbeard the Pirate. They should check the Dictionary of Pirates.'

'You just don't understand children's music.'

'That was a million kisses. They were all put together in one big smooch.'

'I gave my baby a bindi. I gave myself one, too. I used a Hello Kitty marker. I had to use pink because I couldn't find red.'

'It's called Mighty Meaty Meal. It's a pizza for dogs.'

Let's pretend the flavors are grape, cherry and ham. (Popsicles)

'Sometimes wind goes down my esophagus and food goes down my windpipe.'

Whoa, cool music. (Crosby, Stills, Nash in TriState)

Opening birthday presents: Oh Karl, it's perfect. Wherever did you find it?

'I don't like George Bush. Abraham Lincoln is my favorite president. He freed the slaves.'

'Dad, one more thing: you really are Mr. Perfect.'

Her best friend: Sometimes I lick my armpits to try to get them clean.
From GMC:
Can't reach the armpits, but it's good exercise!

Me (lighting the barbecue): I'll need to get some more paper.
Herself: Let's use bills, then you won't have to do them.

'Dad, you're goofy. I'm the serious one.'

"I'm going to go out for a little while, but I need to take you with me because I don't drive yet."

'I like speaking Chinese when I'm holding bamboo.'
(While cooking a hot dog on a bamboo stick at backyard barbecue.)
From Vic:
If you speak Chinese while roasting a hot dog on a bamboo stick,
AND say the magic words in Chinese while waving the bamboo
stick a bit, it will be a magic wand and turn the hot dog into a flaming
dragon....... pickle relish/pickles become emeralds, mustard
become liquid gold, ketsup is the dragon flaming breath, onions are
pearls/strings of pearls, the bun is his secret lair..etc.
Chinese dragon brings good luck. If you hold the hot dog to your
ear a second, the dragon will tell you a Chinese fortune (just like the
cookies).

'Mango! Mango!' (Fall 2002)
(As I took a mango out of my backpack, said in exactly the same tone as she might say 'Snake! Snake!')